Not many website marketers can claim to have forever changed their marketplace with one of their books. That is exactly what Dr. Gary Chapman made with The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That survives.
Dr. Chapman explains how important it is for couples to understand how each other and themselves both give and receive love. It is likely for couples to honestly love each other, but to truly feel unloved because they don’t think the same about giving and receiving love.
Everybody generally has their own original love languages for receiving love and giving love. It may be the same for giving/receiving, and it may be different. If a husband does not meet the primary love language of his wife, she might not sense his true feelings and start to be unfulfilled with their relationship.
Understanding your spouse’s love language and acting accordingly will fill their “Love Tank”. The “Love Tank” analogy is a great metaphor for describing how loved someone feels. Like a gas tank in a car, our lives run best when our Love Tank is filled and constantly being topped off. The alternative is running on fumes and burning out.
Meeting people’s primary love language constantly will fill up their love tank and help them feel loved like they need. But if a spouse fails to meet this chief love language, it might leave their “Love Tank” empty, which leads to sensations of being unloved and issues in relationships.
Below is a summary of Dr. Gary Chapman’s Five Love Languages with three questions at the bottom to spot what is your primary love language:
Summary: What are the Five Love Languages?
1. Words of statement
“If this is your love language, you feel most cared for when your partner is open and expressive in telling you how wonderful they think you are, how much they appreciate you, etc.”
2. Acts of Service
“If your partner offering to watch the kids so you can go to the gym (or relieving you of some other task) gets your heart going, then this is your love language.”
“This love language is just as it sounds. A warm hug, a kiss, touch, and sexual intimacy make you feel most loved when this is your love language.”
4. Quality Time
“This love language is about being together, fully present and engaged in the activity at hand, no matter how trivial.”
“Your partner taking the time to give you a gift can make you feel appreciated.”
How to figure out your primary language:
Your upbringing can speak into your love language. How did you parents show you love growing up? What made you feel the most loved as a child? There is a high chances that is your primary love language.
When you really want to show an individual you care about them, what first comes to your mind to show it? Your most basic instincts can show your primary love language as well.
Painful relational experiences can show your primary love language. If someone close to you hurt you in a deep way or neglected to show love the way you wanted, perhaps the deep hurt/dissatisfaction came because the way you some feel loved was not met. This means that what they failed to do is what you benefits the most because it is your basic love language.
Take the Five Love Languages test to determine what your love languages are.
Top Quotes from The Five Love Languages:
“Our most basic emotional really want is not to fall in love but to be genuinely loved by another, to know a love that grows out of reason and choice, not instinct. I need to be loved by someone who chooses to love me, who sees in me a system worth loving.”
“Forgiveness is not a feeling; it is a commitment. It is a choice to show mercy, not to hold the offense up against the offender. Forgiveness is an concept of love.”
“People tend to criticize their spouse most loudly in the area where they ourselves have the deepest heartwarming need.”
“The object of love is not getting something you want but doing a little something for the well-being of the one you love.”
“In fact, true love cannot begin until the in-love enjoy has run its course.”
“People tend to criticize their spouse most loudly in the area where they them selves have the deepest emotional need.”
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